Iâm always curious to observe and identify behavior that seems gendered, yet doesnt seem obviously dictated by external forces - ie not because of family pressure, communal expectations, advertising, etc. Eg traits quite unique to private male-male OR female-female friendships
Things that seem âuniquely femaleâ:
- writing letters to each other in school/class, extensive notes in each otherâs notebooks (boys write short things like âMike stinksâ)
- talking about crushes on each other, jokingly pretending to date each other (eg âJaneâs my bfâ)
[Perhaps boys would do these things too if not for âtoxic patriarchyâ, but I quite doubt it. Though Iâm speaking from a very cis-het POV. Maybe gaybros are different? Actually, yes, probably! Curious to hear gaybro POVs/stories)]
Things that seem âuniquely maleâ:
- intense gaming rivalries (particularly in video games, card games. have asked women/girls abt their equivalents but there doesnât quite seem to be anything similar)
- reckless risk-taking (climbing, etc - girls do this too but not as much�)
Curious to hear from people who interact with large volumes of young kids - teachers, nurses, etc. Also am trying to reflect on my own childhood experiences (I spent ages 13-16 in an all-boys school, and served in all-male units in the military from 19-21)
I recall that some boys would often gather to gamble (blackjack). In JC (co-ed environment), the gambling groups that would spontaneously emerge were 95% male. Sometimes a âone of the boysâ girl would join in, but I donât recall ever seeing a group of girls gambling
Wife reminds me that there was a group of girls in her school (all-girls) who were Lord of the Rings fans who were teaching themselves Elvish. Interestingly, while I knew dudes who were LotR fans, I never personally met any who learned the language(s). (They do exist, ofc)
Thinking about this stuff more⊠thereâs no way this stuff isnât shaped by broader culture. We know for certain that there are girls who are interested in stereotypically male pursuits, and vice versa. But it must be so hard for them to express it amongst peers at a young age
Incidentally, as a dude, some of my favorite things to do include talking extensively about feelings and writing long letters to people đ it took me a while but I did find other bros who were into similar things. âMen talking about their feelingsâ might be my fav genre