https://dinesh.eth.limo/notes/what-to-know/

Visakan Veerasamy @visakanv 2023-05-25

I originally wrote this after thinking through a question someone asked me about how to deal with doomscrolling

Today someone else asked me about how to deal with validation-seeking and I realize it has the same core answer

2023-04-26

you don’t win big from being the goodest good boy you can be (minimizing negative variance to try and please your internal taskmaster)

you win big by being a bad motherfucker who’s sensitive to feedback (maximizing positive variance in alignment with your deepest feelings)


Dinesh Raju @dineshraju 2023-05-26

You’re right that it’s really about focus but IMO using your own public journey as a case study would make this more concrete & helpful

(disclaimer: I asked Visa before posting this)

We all have some unique outlier abilities (our “edge”). There are also tasks that are much harder for us vs others (“glitch”).

An edge is where you feel flow, you play, what’s obvious to you.

Glitch is when you flinch, it’s where the Ugh Fields are.

Powerful edges & glitches are likely just manifestations of the same brain wiring.

Visa’s edges: extra receptive & perceptive to what others are missing + his ability to express himself in a compelling way

His glitch: aversion to calendars & schedules

2022-09-04

3, my ugh field issue with calendars/schedules etc is worse than I thought even when I think I am aware of it

His glitch might have started off as a more benign quirk, but wasn’t addressed appropriately & compounded to become an ugh field.

https://x.com/visakanv/status/1470162775691304962


If I had to guess, I’d say Visa has some free association wiring that both enables his edge & enforces his glitch.

2021-12-12

and when I notice that i’ve failed to follow up with my own plan, I feel an intense shame, like it’s this searing reminder of my own incompetence. i feel my parents and teachers etc all yelling at me, 15 years later, inside my head, and I inwardly cower and hide

The goal is to find a domain where success depends on your edges and isn’t handicapped by your glitches.

Self-actualization is about finding this domain and maximally expressing your edge in it.

Visa started out in the “local political blogger” domain, then moved to the “marketing writer” domain, and is now in the “building FAN” domain.

Domains are just labels. Don’t over-index on them & make them your identity.

If Visa built his identity around being a “political blogger” he would be stuck measuring himself against the wrong peer group & restricting the expression of his edge.

You know you’re getting close to the right domain when it feels custom-built for you.

2019-01-25

yeah I used to do that in my days as a local political blogger back in the early 2010s and it can become very unpleasant. far better to build a network of kind, thoughtful nerds – and the influence you get via that is a much more wholesome, nourishing influence

The path in each domain is just a set of dominos you need to topple. You don’t know what they are before you start. You don’t know how much your glitches are going to block each domino from falling.

You also don’t want to over-focus on eliminating your glitches.

Even with a lot of work, Visa is likely only going to be above average in scheduling. But he can be the world’s top 100 at reply game.

Delegate tasks or use external tools to dull your glitches, but only enough to unblock your next domino. Then focus on sharpening your edge.

At some point in marketing writer domain, Visa might realize his scheduling glitch is making some of these later dominos tricky. He has a few options at this point:

1. Fix the scheduling glitch more to unblock the next marketing writer domino 2. Switch to another domain where this glitch doesn’t matter as much 3. Be ok with current plateau because 1 & 2 aren’t feasible

This setup can be dynamic. Before social media came around, Visa wouldn’t be able to upgrade to the FAN domain because it wouldn’t be possible yet.

Just because your ideal domain doesn’t exist today doesn’t mean it never will.

Tech moves fast. Just work on understanding your edges & glitches as precisely as you can. Then stay curious and keep an open mind about how the world is changing.

Also if you switch domains, you might need to get down the current hill and start from scratch as you climb up another one. It’ll look like you’re regressing.

But that’s what might be required for your to get at your personal highest-order bit.

https://dineshraju.eth.limo/notes/highest-order-bit/#p-6568


Dealing with distractions becomes clearer in this frame.

You hit a glitch on your next domino that you need to fix. This is hard. The glitch pushes you out of your Flow State. You’re languishing & not getting the highs from your edge, but also can’t face your ugh field head on.

So you look around for distractions. You doomscroll, play video games or post engagement bait for the temporary high.

But at the end of the day you still feel unfulfilled & empty. You know this isn’t how you’re supposed to self-actualize. You get stuck in a rut.

You need to introspect or find someone who can point all this out & refocus you. So you can pay attention to the precise shape of the next domino & the glitches blocking it.

Or switch to a different domain & start on the dominos there. Then manage your psychology to keep at it.